Puppies
by ObsessiveDevil
Summary: Remus and Sirius have puppies, and James wants to know where they came from. XD Gift fic for MyChemicalRomance0666. Rated higher for one or two swear words and a bit of a creepy theme. RLSB


-1**Puppies**

**Sirius and Remus have puppies. James wants to know where they came from. XD**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter. I am not making any money from this.**

**Here we go!**

Sirius and Remus had puppies. Three of them. James observed this as he sat on his bed, pretending to be writing his transfiguration essay. They all had dark brown shaggy fur, with little black patches here and there, and they had very dazzling blue eyes. Their tails would wag from side to side excitedly as the two boys; sat side by side on Sirius' bed, would pick each of them up in turn and cuddle them, and play with them all.

James knew he should be focusing on his essay, but they were very distracting; all cute and furry. And they'd give out little yelps of excitement and barks of joy as two of the four occupants of the room gave them their attention. Really, where did they come from anyway? As far as James knew students were only allowed an owl OR a cat OR a toad… not three puppies. However adorable those puppies were.

If James noticed how much the puppies resembled the boys playing with them, he didn't comment. Because really, that just _had _to be a coincidence.

"For God's sake!" he eventually snapped, throwing down his quill. Remus and Sirius stopped playing with the puppies, whom in turn, turned the furry little heads in James' direction and forced James to see some _real_ puppy eyes. And he'd thought Sirius had been pretty good at the manipulative look. The teen was nothing compared to the original. "Where did they come from?" he asked, sighing and sitting straighter on his bed so he could look the boys in the eyes, and not the puppies.

Remus and Sirius shared a brief look, before Sirius chuckled lightly; the way he did when he'd just been caught trying to pull off one of their pranks. James rose an eyebrow and thinned his lips in such a good impression of McGonagall that Remus winced.

"Well… That's a good question." Replied the werewolf; since Sirius obviously wasn't going to answer. "I guess, their mother?"

"Yuck, Remus!" cried James, poking out his tongue in disgust. "I meant where did _you_ get them from!" he added.

Sirius was glaring at Remus.

"Mother my ass…" he mumbled, and Remus grinned cheekily at him. All this went oblivious to James, who had just spotted a mistake on his essay and leaned over to cross it out. He straightened back up and pinned the two with his look again.

"So?"

"Well, they were born and raised, until now, in London." replied the sandy-haired teen. James sighed.

"So why are they here?"

"We've got to keep the family together." Remus said so quickly James' suspicions were spiked high. Sirius turned to Remus with a Black Family Death Glare.

"Family? Is the mother here?" James asked. This time, he didn't miss Sirius squirming.

"You could say that…" he supplied. Sifting uncomfortably on the bed. He picked up the right hand puppy and place it on his lap, stroking it fondly.

"Fang?" asked James, remembering Hagrid's wimpy dog. Remus shook his head quickly, turning a deathly pale. James became more suspicious.

"Erm… I didn't know Hogwarts had any other dogs, other then Siri that is…" James' eyes widened in disbelief. "Padfoot!?" he all but screamed, waking Peter, who looked around the occupants of the room, then fell back asleep. Sirius shifted uncomfortably again, and Remus gave a short snort of laughter turned strange hacking cough thing when Sirius pinned him with another glare.

"Well…" Sirius began, looking down at the puppies, and not at James. "It's kinda odd… but… Well, remember I took that time off school about four months ago. I was away for a couple of months?" Sirius was blushing, James could tell because his ears were red.

"Yeah…" James said hesitantly.

"Do I have to spell it out for you?" the boy asked. "I'm a dog animagus, I go away for two months and come back with puppies… put two and two together!"

James blushed then as well.

"But… how the hell? Two months isn't enough time right?"

"Shouldn't you be more concerned about how he got pregnant in the first place?" Remus asked, "Dogs are usually only pregnant for about two months." The sandy-haired boy shut up at the glare he was receiving from Sirius.

"It's just that… Well, weird thing is, Padfoot is actually a lady-dog…"

"A bitch?"

"Shut up!"

"Sorry."

"So yeah, a _lady-dog_, and well, I didn't really think about it… but relationships I have as a human effect her too."

James snorted in amusement.

"So basically, you and Moony went at it like rabbits, then all of sudden you've got some puppies on your hands?" Both boys in question blushed. James stood and crossed the room, picking up one of the puppies and looking at it closely. "Triplets huh? I wonder if you can give birth to human kids…"

"I don't wanna find out!"

"I wonder if you'd be that fertile with human children."

"I don't wanna find out!"

"I wonder if you -"

"Stop wondering and give me back my child dammit!"

James handed back the puppy, and laughed his way out of the dormitory.

**What the hall? I hear you say! Well yes, what the hell indeed? It's odd and short and blah-de-blah, but I wanted to give MyChemicalRomance0666 a gift-fic, and she really likes RemusxSirius, so yeah… I might make another one with this pairing one day. It was kind of cute.**

**So yeah, I know this fic was incredibly pointless. But please review anyway…**


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